, Arizona, USA
1897 - Thanksgiving Advice

Cromatlc Notes.

The list of "don'ts" printed below will, it is hoped, be found particularly fitting at this season of the year. For the benefit of those who are seeking information as to what is and what is not proper at table, it-may be stated with considerable confidence that the maxims herewith attached and made a part of the exhibit may be followed as rigidly as circumstances will permit. Here they are:

Don't eat solid food from a spoon. Use your knife.

Don't pick your teeth with your fork. It injures the silver plating.

Don't drink out of the finger-bowl. You don't know who washed his hands in it last.

Don't be in too big a hurry to reach the desert. Give the ice cream a chance to freeze.

Don't drink too much wine. Refined people always 6top short of actual inebriety.

Don't gobble, even over the turkey. It can't hear you and In all probability, wouldn't recognize your voice if it could.

Don't swear, even if the butter has a blase taste. It is admitted that the temptation to do so is great, but it must be firmly overcome. This applies especially to the ladies.

Don't take your soup plate in both hands and drink such a portion of its contents as you are unable to dip up with your spoon. If you haven't had enough, ask the hostess to "fill 'em up again."

Don't try to carve the fowl unless you have had previous experience and know that you know what you are about to undertake. Even then it is always advisable to offer up a silent prayer for success.

Don't lay your napkin across your lap, as is the custom of so many diners-out. Tuck it firmly in around your collar and let it hang down over your waistcoat. Laundry bills are expensive.

Don't knock over your dish of hot tea into your neighbor's lap. It will make him warm, but he will endeavor to hide his feelings by appearing cold toward you for the remaining courses. This statement is somewhat paradoxical, but it's strictly true.

And, finally,

Don't get mad and write long letters to the editor because he tries to tell you a few things that may not have occurred to you. Remember the final disposition of by far the larger part of the communications devolves upon the janitor, and he's already the hardest worked man in the building.

The Skylight Kicker
Flagstaff, Arizona
Thurs., November 25, 1897

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